Be A Good Friend To Keep A Good Friend

“Friendship is the purest love. It is the highest form of Love where nothing is asked for, no condition, where one simply enjoys giving.”
Osho

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Are you feel lonely even you have a bunch of friends around you? Are you there for your friend when they need, but you do not see same treatment from them? Do you have friends to call when you need a help? Who really understand and try to help you, be with you there for you?

Maybe you have crowded surrounding, but you do not feel SEEN and HEARD.  Maybe whom you select as a friend is not reflecting friendship qualities. Sometimes we may not be selective due to the busyness of our life. We accept who ever come or want to be friend with us. I will admit, I did this so many times. Later, I recognize how disappointing to have inappropriate friendship.

In my transition life from corporate to coaching, I review my life and my relationships, friendships. In this period, I had some difficulty to be understood or get support from “friends” whom I thought they are my friend.  So I had to consider and re-evaluate “what matters most for me” in relationship and friendship and I talked and explains my concerns to my friends who I felt not ease.

Sometimes some friendship looks good but they might be toxic, drain your energy and attention. So it ‘s better to set healthy boundaries and know what are your values in friendship.

Surveys show that close friendships are more equated with life happiness than marriage, so these relationships are very important to our well-being. Basic characteristics of a good friend include:

Trustworthiness – keep your promises and have integrity.

Protectiveness – defend your friends if you hear gossip about them, and help them when they need it.

Confidentiality – never gossip about your friends or reveal their secrets to others.

Non-competition – striving to be “better” than your friend puts the strain on the relationship.

Mutuality – conversations give both people time and attention to share. Friends listen to each other.

Availability – we’re all busy, but good friends make time for each other.

However, people have bad days and act imperfect, so there are times when a true friend will be negative or hurt your feelings. The way to determine if they are really a friend (as opposed to something more negative like a frenemy) is to look at the whole of your relationship. Don’t look at moments alone, but consider;

  • How does this person make you feel when you’re with them?

  • Do you look forward to seeing them?

  • Can you share your joy freely? Or do you feel you need keep quiet about your own good news when you’re around them?

If someone is really your friend, they act in a kind manner. They do nice things for you. (If they ask you to do things for them without ever reciprocating, chances are they aren’t really a friend.)

I think, although we learn how to make friends naturally from childhood, but as everything it can be re-learned and developed, so I highly recommend you to read www.about.com ‘s articles related with friendship; there are lots of very helpful and detailed info regarding having healthy friendship.

Have a great day with your supportive friends.

Nilgun

Sources:

1-http://www.angeltherapy.com/blog/18-tips-healing-anxiety-toxic-relationships?utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=email_Newsletter_Virtue_2015&utm_so

2- 2http://friendship.about.com/od/Types_of_Friendships/a/What-Is-Friendship.htm